goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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