If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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