nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
