then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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