Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
