I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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