Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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