I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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