i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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