I could have mohawked her pubes.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
