9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
