my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize