why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
