she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
