if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
