On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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