why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
