I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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