i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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