i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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