I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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