dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
