never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
