She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Randomize
