I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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