well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
