I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
