I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
