So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
