so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Vodka?
Forever.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
