pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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