just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
