I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
