oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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