why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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