Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
