how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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