If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
tell me about the fingering
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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