Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
