and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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