only if we run a train.
done.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
