It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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