the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
