At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
