The maid of honor just puked.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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