porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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