You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
