Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
