dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
