am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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