he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
