My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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