I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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