Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
