I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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