And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
