you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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