I am in a vortex of obligation.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
