A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize