Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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