i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
