Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
