Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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