my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
