Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
