i need an iv and a liver transplant
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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